Where did the love go? 


Yesterday, I heard three different stories of three couples and some things that played out between them. 

The first was that a man left his wife standing on the road waiting for him to go get something that he had forgotten back home, only for him to continue his journey by another route all because he didnt want to pay the transport fare of 50 Naira for his wife. So sad.

The second story was about how a man came back late from where he could not explain and began to feign anger and poured away the entire pot of food his wife had prepared with the little money on her. This is a wife who was waiting for his return so they could eat together and she had also used her freshly earned salary to pay off the guy’s debts. Disheartening.

The third was about how a wife was so unnappreciative of her husband and would ussually extort money from him saying things like she needed to perform a sacrifice and other gibberish. She cheated on her loving and caring husband and later left him for another man after getting preggy. Smh.

Its not that I’m shocked at hearing things like this cos Ive heard even worse scenarios than this, but its just that I pondered upon the issues and i got to ask myself “what happened”? I mean, where did all the love go?? So you mean its 50naira that made you separate from your wife on the journey? Who does that? If you didnt want to pay, she wouldnt crucify you.  And to throw food thereby wasting it is a very bad act. Even babarians wont do that. Like…who wastes anything in this period not to talk of food? Plus the fact that you didnt contribute to the cooking of the food. Now cant u just be a good wife and not cause trouble for a men who chose you to be a part of him? What do you want to do with all the money youre hoarding? I mean what would you gain? Then you left…

You see, at a point in their lives, these three couples were once under the mango tree enjoying the cool evening breeze while promising themselves heaven and earth. So the question still lingers- where did the love go?

Love is strong. Its deep. Its the thing that caused a man to die on cross after a tiring journey with a heavy cross. Its not sex. Its not about the money we get. Its way deeper. A friend said people use the four letter word anyhow and mostly in the ‘light’ sex just to lighten the weight of the subject (paraphrased). Love is a decision. A lifetime decision at that. For better, for ‘better’. Yes. All the better. And in the non marriage concept, it is a way of life. Or should i say it should be our way of life. Im not justifying that the other parties of the three couples are saints in every way, but whatever it is, our actions and reactions should be tagged with love. 

Ever seen that picture of a man with a chain to his legs and an anvil on the other end of the chain. The anvil is tagged a grudge and the man cant move or do much so long as he is still holding on to that grudge. In my opinion, that anvil can also be tagged love. Yes. In this case, the love constrains you. Keeps you within its circumference and all that would radiate from you would be all about it. It prevents you from doing much in the sense of hurting your neighbour. That love anvil should really be tied around everyone’s legs. So married or not married, love becomes our way of life. Plus when choosing a life partner, be very sure of yourself so you are not forced to go back on your decision in years to come. Well, that one is entirely another topic on its own. 

So let me conclude by saying this. You know that scripture that says to bind the law of God on your neck, we really should heed to that. And then whats even the law of God? To Love. For in Love lies the fulfillment of the law. Simple. So here’s the scripture. And the succeeding verse just encourages us all the more.

Don’t ever let love and loyalty leave you. Tie them around your neck, and write them on your heart. Then God will be pleased and think well of you and so will everyone else.

Prov. 3:3‭-‬4 ERV

So it doesnt matter if youre married or not, lets show some love. To dat guy who greets you every morning who  seems to not have a future, give him a warm smile. To that lady who is always asking for assistance, you dont have to shun her. You can always decline politely. To that market woman who insults you; do you really wanna/have to reply? C’mon, youre bigger than that. And to that younger sibling who insults you, you dont have to kill them.They can still be corrected…and forgiven. So… 

#letsjustshowlove

#loveisdeep

#loveisstrong

#dontlettheloverunaway

#letslove

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Whats your veiw or take on love? Please share below. 

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So you want to date? 

Heyo, how u doing? Chidinma is coool. 

So on sunday, a guy asked me out on a date. He actually said I owe him a date for his birthday. I asked him why he wants to go on a date with me…not neccessarily to date me. His reply was dat asking me on a date would help him know me better. He then added that he really likes my personality. Then i got thinking…

 As simple as I can remember, dating is getting to know somebody better…someone you like and are attracted to. But then, should you just begin to date just anybody because you like them and are attracted to them? So here’s what i was thinking anyway. I was the one on the receiving end in this matter and i asked myself some questions. 

He wants to know more about me. How much of me do I know of myself and can be able to easily define to somebody? Truth is I’m still on a huge path of self discovery. Trying to define who I am, what i really want, what stands I should take and all that. And i also discovered about me that i find it hard to define who i really am before people. Its all in my head but to put it out in words is a huge task. So if this was the case, should I go on a date when the I know fully within me that the main purpose of the date would not be met. Or do I just want to hang out with a guy for the sake of it? Of course at times I’ll do that but not just with any guy. 
He also said he likes my personality. This is someone who i see once in a while. I began wondering which personality he knows and when i asked, he said he likes my smile, my beauty, my charisma, and the fact that I’m a hard worker. Hmmm….my smile, its nice. I love it too. My beauty, oh, i know I’m beautiful. Thanks for noticing and complementing. My charisma? Do i really have charisma? As in, where did you see my charisma coming to play? And then who told you I’m a hard worker??? So these are the ‘personality’ he was talking about. I don’t think he should be in a position to tell me if I have charisma and if I’m a hard worker. Like i said, this is someone I see once in a while. So this must be some regular lines used by guys. Another truth is that we ladies are easily carried away by what we are being told. But i wasn’t in the mood to be carried away yesterday.
Again, what if I knew to define myself satisfactorily before people, should I then go on dates? That still boils down to what I really want. Is it time for me in my own eyes to go on dates? And besides, do I just want to date randomly every other day? Knowing well that dating is a porch to the relationship door, i don’t think i want to just date anyhow and throw who I really am before countless number of people in the name of getting to know me better. What for anyway? Any plans?? Also, the guy in question; do I think I will like to date him? Truth is ‘knowing better’ of people without any definite reason would tend to cloud my mind and brain with so many stuff I think I’m not ready to ponder about. 
So you want to date? Lets be frank with ourselves. Why? For the sake of it? Of course you can hang out but be careful not to convert it to a date in the process. Also, who are you really? What do you have to tell your date about yourself? What do you really want? I don’ t think you like the idea of breaking up barely two months of a relationship because you got to know that the person isn’t what you really want. Your heart is too precious for that. Then to our guys, please don’t use flattering words for us ladies. We get carried away easily. You might even just be flattering someone only to start something serious and then discover you’ve got the wrong person on your boat. To my ladies, don’t let your heart drift away too easily into fantasy. Guard your heart even if its with a little bit of diligence. 

Please leave your comments on your take below. Thanks