So you want to date? 

Heyo, how u doing? Chidinma is coool. 

So on sunday, a guy asked me out on a date. He actually said I owe him a date for his birthday. I asked him why he wants to go on a date with me…not neccessarily to date me. His reply was dat asking me on a date would help him know me better. He then added that he really likes my personality. Then i got thinking…

 As simple as I can remember, dating is getting to know somebody better…someone you like and are attracted to. But then, should you just begin to date just anybody because you like them and are attracted to them? So here’s what i was thinking anyway. I was the one on the receiving end in this matter and i asked myself some questions. 

He wants to know more about me. How much of me do I know of myself and can be able to easily define to somebody? Truth is I’m still on a huge path of self discovery. Trying to define who I am, what i really want, what stands I should take and all that. And i also discovered about me that i find it hard to define who i really am before people. Its all in my head but to put it out in words is a huge task. So if this was the case, should I go on a date when the I know fully within me that the main purpose of the date would not be met. Or do I just want to hang out with a guy for the sake of it? Of course at times I’ll do that but not just with any guy. 
He also said he likes my personality. This is someone who i see once in a while. I began wondering which personality he knows and when i asked, he said he likes my smile, my beauty, my charisma, and the fact that I’m a hard worker. Hmmm….my smile, its nice. I love it too. My beauty, oh, i know I’m beautiful. Thanks for noticing and complementing. My charisma? Do i really have charisma? As in, where did you see my charisma coming to play? And then who told you I’m a hard worker??? So these are the ‘personality’ he was talking about. I don’t think he should be in a position to tell me if I have charisma and if I’m a hard worker. Like i said, this is someone I see once in a while. So this must be some regular lines used by guys. Another truth is that we ladies are easily carried away by what we are being told. But i wasn’t in the mood to be carried away yesterday.
Again, what if I knew to define myself satisfactorily before people, should I then go on dates? That still boils down to what I really want. Is it time for me in my own eyes to go on dates? And besides, do I just want to date randomly every other day? Knowing well that dating is a porch to the relationship door, i don’t think i want to just date anyhow and throw who I really am before countless number of people in the name of getting to know me better. What for anyway? Any plans?? Also, the guy in question; do I think I will like to date him? Truth is ‘knowing better’ of people without any definite reason would tend to cloud my mind and brain with so many stuff I think I’m not ready to ponder about. 
So you want to date? Lets be frank with ourselves. Why? For the sake of it? Of course you can hang out but be careful not to convert it to a date in the process. Also, who are you really? What do you have to tell your date about yourself? What do you really want? I don’ t think you like the idea of breaking up barely two months of a relationship because you got to know that the person isn’t what you really want. Your heart is too precious for that. Then to our guys, please don’t use flattering words for us ladies. We get carried away easily. You might even just be flattering someone only to start something serious and then discover you’ve got the wrong person on your boat. To my ladies, don’t let your heart drift away too easily into fantasy. Guard your heart even if its with a little bit of diligence. 

Please leave your comments on your take below. Thanks


15 thoughts on “So you want to date? 

  1. Sunny#
    Hi… I understand “Dating” as this..
    1. It is a set time out to meet with someone you already know or you dont know, for any reasons.
    2. As the term implies ” Dating” , setting frequent date’s to hang out with love ones.
    I want to date u also… Lolzzz

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t think there are rules etched out on stone concerning these things…

    You can hardly know someone 100% on a single date…and who says it must metamorphose into a full-blown relationship, just because you’ve discovered who you are…?!

    Who also said you cannot date because you are on a discovery journey of self?!

    But then what do I know?! I’m just a guy….


  3. errrmm…..

    So Chidinma now has a blog??


    so are you trying to say that dating is sharp contrast from being in a relationship??


  4. The heart that truly cares will go the extra mile of not only expressing its luv, but making it a reality. So Whenever u see the expression of luv through actions nd not just mere lips service, it’s essential for the receiving party to show some sign of attention. , at the end what really matters Is being happy together as one. stop being a uptight


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